Corona Chronicles diary …..

Extracts from my corona chronicles diary
And just like that it hit us … LOCKDOWN. It felt like a freight train barrelling down on us and my initial thoughts were…. Will we make it? Can we do 21 days? Little did we know that the next few months would be full of ups and downs, the proverbial “corona-coaster”. Just take it all one day at a time and laugh at yourselves on the way were two of my reoccurring thoughts. Many challenges were thrown at us during this unusual time …
Day 7
From the comfort of the couch, nose deep in his online game, Mitchell (11 years old going on 22) pipes up under the blanket and pillow “fort” “what is for breakfast”? Mitchell is the youngest offspring in the house with two older brothers. His older brothers started at the local boarding school at the tender age of 12 and 13, so this lockdown is the longest they have ever stayed at home in the last 8 and 7 years, all sharing a space together. Still trying to adapt to the dynamics of all the family being at home, Cindy, the home keeper, is still trying to gauge their likes and dislikes, and so gravitates towards Mitchell as her favourite. At 10 o’clock the 17-year-old gets up, wearing his slippers and winter dressing gown, scratches his “crown jewels” and asks the very same question that was asked, answered, and served hours earlier. Half an hour later the 20-year-old UCT student emerges from his den. The door makes a grating sound as it catches on the tiles in the passage. With the door being semi-permanently closed, opening it has not sanded it down any.
Full of his “Cape Town requirements” and dressed in his “Hugh Hefner robe” he comes gracefully out into the passage. Having trimmed down immensely, and with his new shaved haircut, his height is exaggerated, and his head appears to nearly touch the door frame. Underneath all his “new” quirks, it is the same precious, caring, generous, loving child, I remind myself consistently. Like a mantra. Rogan has also brought a new eating style home from Cape Town. Starting with iced coffee every morning, salads for lunch and veggie bakes for dinner and smoothies as his snack of choice. Intermittent fasting is also on his agenda. Total paranoia has set in with regards to best before dates. Totally contrary to my philosophy: If it does not have mould on it, smell it, then eat it. His “cooking and baking phase” has also led to major disappointments like when he was horrified that our local trading store did not stock marinated artichokes or organic ground turmeric.
The 17-year-old has finally done some room maintenance and cleared up his room and sifted through all his boxes. “Mom, I am a horder”, he confessed to me. I did not want to spill the beans that I had known this since his birth and that this has been confirmed every time I went into his room for airing and cleaning before he came home from boarding school. I have been moving the rock collection, the coin collection, the knife collection, the WWF card collection and the 1995 RWC card collection, between various boxes for years trying to tidy up.
Mitchell has had the “worst lock down ever” (said with tears). Highlighted by the lamenting as he walks past his iPad and touches it longingly with a quiet “please get better soon” and the melt-down when we found the empty home of his escape artist pet bunny ‘hops”, and this all in the same morning. Now he has home schooling to survive.
Day 15
The wifi is proving a constant source of fuel on an already percolating fire. We live on a farm and so, with no fibre in sight, a temperamental and slow internet speed and lots of break downs are common. “who is on the wifi “… “I am trying to do internet banking” …. “Stop your fortnite” … “who is downloading a movie” are the calls from the farmhouse that can be heard down the driveway onto the district road. As lockdown progressed we have fallen into a bit of a rhythm and everyone knows when it is their turn on the internet, although hubby can, at any moment and with no warning, come in and use his “master of all he see’s” power to overrule any tentative peace agreement. This rhythm has resulted in some late nights for the older OS trying to get their daily fix of Netflix, music downloads and facetime.
Day 20
Today I want to highlight my sharing the shower shambles. Sharing the one shower has been great for the five of us family bonding, but has left me with wet shower mats, no dry towels and a shower cluttered with the individual facewashes, shampoo’s, cloths, and brushes. Every time I do a supply run there is always a list of personal grooming requirements and they do not come cheap. With everyone being so germ-a-phobic at the moment, I cannot even shout at them. And any special products that I use, and have costed me a small fortune, they just use by the handful.
Doing daily gym workouts is also great for moral but the gym-type music which the boys find motivating, I find a little like being at a stop street alongside a “sesfikile” or moving into the red zone in terms of self-defence (awakening your fight or flight response). My yoga vibes are in constant conflict with their testosterone fuelled hype vibes.
Day 23
The extended family has never felt closer, sharing every unusual moment through the “big family” what’s up group. Strolling in the sun through a farmers market stacked with gorgeous looking fresh produce, grass basket in hand, no queuing and no crowds, (is our Cape Town family Town family) : Fibre wifi (Johannesburg family): deliveries to their door within hours (UK family): LD together having family braai’s (Bergville family): sharing drinks stocks and pavement parties (Ballito family): while we are out in the country miles from markets, no deliveries, basic wifi, and when we do venture into town for supplies no grass basket in sight.
A real positive spin off from the lockdown period was that I,Pinkfarmchick, turned into a domestic goddess. Need fresh hot white bread? Defrost already bought bread dough, bake at 180 for 40 minutes and voila! Need butter ? Stand and beat cream with a pinch of salt, “wash” with water until water runs clear and voila! Want sausage rolls for lunch? Squeeze sausage roll stuffing onto sheets off puff pastry, roll, bake and voila! Feel like chicken burritos for supper? Get the chicken burrito meal from Woolies, prick it a few times, pop in the microwave for 5 min and voila!
We have found however that we have to share our ever dwindling wine stocks with our older OS …. And they drink A LOT! And I must make two proper meals a day and the family expect snacks and pudding occasionally.
Day 25
THE day begins. Sunny and full of hope but I should have known. As the saying goes “red in the morning, a shepherds warning” and we did have a beautiful red sunrise!
Anticipating home schooling the 11-year-old was the build-up of a thriller and horror movie all rolled into one. There can be only one survivor, lots of blood, lots of digging and finally the burying. I am more the rom-com movie watcher. Couples walking down tree lined street, hand in hand. It turned out to be another free roller coaster ride for the emotions. Our (the student and the teacher) communal melt down, which unfortunately would turn out to become a common occurrence. The end result would be my hatching a plan as the hubby comes in. I ask with a sweet smile “do you know who is really good with Afrikaans?”. The hubby grew up as a Western Province supporter so is really good with Afrikaans but in the later years the Afrikaans he uses isn’t really the school going variety! But desperate times call for desperate measures. On my first day of school I had to change my standard answer to many questions “Ask your teacher … she is very clever you know” to “google it”. This response is spreading like lice in pre-school. Another thing I have to plan is my toilet breaks because as soon as I am not paying attention, my student will make a gap for it, and only be seen at the next mealtime. Yes, I only have one student but at times it feels like I teach a class of 20.
Day 35
Today I had to venture out into the world. The image of corona virus looking like a patch of blackjacks is one that came to me as I was walking the other day and this has not left me, so the supply run means take precautions, big time. Bundled up with my mask, jersey, and gloves, wearing both my sun glasses and my reading glasses on my head and carrying my shopping bags (of various size, description, weight), I step out of my car feeling like a member of a hazmat team or suicide bomber. I concentrate on deep breaths as claustrophobia is a very real issue of mine. After queuing at the store and being assaulted by the door lady with her sanitiser I enter. I have my list (somewhere) with a pen (somewhere else) and cash to get airtime (falling out my list book), I then proceed to fill my trolley to the brim and beyond as I am shopping for five family members and the staff. I have a very real feeling being overwhelmed when I finally get to the till and after scratching around for my rewards card and my credit card and enter in the wrong PIN number as I haven’t used it for so long, I supervise the packing into my bags (if I don’t, I end up with defrosted pizza fallen to the side of the box). Finally, I am set free, I rip my gloves, grab my mask, pull off my jersey.
As I stumble back into the fresh air there are no car guards in sight to help me with me over-loaded trolley. I will never take them for granted again and always tip them in line with the physical work they assist with, they do more than just direct you into the free space directly ahead of you. By the time I am back in my car I head straight home. Ignoring the thoughts in my head about the brocken iPad I was meant to drop off and the eye drops I was meant to get. Oh well another day ….
Shopping centres are like doing a gladiator run through an obstacle course:
Task 1: Standing on the escalator without holding onto the rail. I am challenged when standing upright on a flat even surface, so imagine the horror of standing on moving stairs and not been able to stabilise yourself with your hand. I have been called “top heavy” with “calves that are out to graze” so I find the height and movement of the escalator a big challenge.
Task 2: Trying on sunglasses, masked up and trying not to touch anything. I found it Impossible to do and impossible to get a good outcome.
Task 3: Opening the fruit and veggie packets to weigh your pick. Impossible for me to do without licking my fingers. Also try to break the static when taking off a jersey in winter without licking your fingers …
Task 4: Getting ready in the freezing cold Natal Midlands and heading “down the hill”. Add longs, closed shoes, long sleeved shirt, scarf, mask, glasses on your head with a takeaway coffee and I have a recipe for a hot flush, with anxiety thrown in for good measure.
Task 5: eating a packet of crisps. Try to do this without licking all the MSG flavouring off your fingers, that is the best part after all.
Wearing a mask highlights your eyes, which is one of my redeeming feature so next time there is a pandemic, please may we wear coverings from our neck to our knees.
Day 51
Will this ever end …