THE Roadtrip ….do’s and don’ts (well actually only one don’t…)

The PFC invaluable road trip hints and tips to guarantee a road trip worth remembering…

1.  Get a bunch of characters together that are all very different but have the same “funny bones”, they might all be in different spots (this is the funny bone …), some may be better hidden then others, but they must all have one deep down inside.  Someone who locks all the doors, puts on the heater, and then lets of a not-so perfume like smell is not encouraged! While someone who does a “run around” (flashback from varsity days – when while waiting at a red robot someone jumps out and run around the car – very funny to the occupants!) is welcome. They must allocate plenty of time for the adventure (a trip to JHB has been known to take the whole day …. A trip down to DBN 5 hours …)
2. Set up a whats up group a couple of weeks out:  It must have a catchy title like “South Coast Saunter”  “Clarens Clamber” or “Big Smoke Scramble”… and a theme for the trip eg: “band chicks on tour” (crossing out the A in band), “embrace your inner hippie” , “glam girls galivanting”…and members must dress or accessorize according to the theme … and every few days comment on  something funny and / or interesting regarding your destination and / or members
3. Give each member a “portfolio” eg music (beat box beauty, but they must be aware of when the music has to be turned down like when we are reversing or in traffic), padkos (the foodie of the group) dress up additions (choreographer) , GPS navigator (“find my phone” is a necessary addition to her phone so that she can phone a friend and find our precise location … direction boards are few and far between on a dirt road in the middle of the Free State navigating by hills and Climax windpumps), they also need to be on speed bump patrollie (English / Afrikaans for patrol / lookout), and driver (directions, road stops etc) 
4. Make sure your car is clean inside and out, full of diesel, tyres pumped up and ready for anything , no mud on the rims so no shuddering as you hurtle down the highway getting ready for the dirt roads and goat tracks that you will explore ……A copy of the theme song (anything from Val Doonican (an irish pub singer) to the Drakensberg Boys Choir) for the trip must be laminated and placed on the seat of all members … during the trip each member must do a rendition for a good laugh …
5. Stops may be often but are never “wasted”… it must be at a view point (even if the wind is howling over the edge and you lose your fake feather boa), at a Nature Reserve (even it is .5 hours off course and you get lost in the middle of Prospecton/ Umbilo / Bluff getting there) at a locals hang out in Mozambique for a quick loop dop (English /  Afrikaans for a travelling refreshment), a quick Freestate Cappuccino( English / Afrikaans for brandy and coke) at a wedding venue in Verkykerskkop or at the local padstall (English / Afrikaans for farm stall) to buy your little local travelling companions (clay figurines NOT real people …) or it can be visiting the biggest church in Warden or visiting the smallest church in Van Reenen.
6. Dress can not be underestimated … for this make sure you have adequate boot space for all the Lou Harvey bags (put on the thule box if needed) … you need a travelling outfit (fake feather boa and big “Jackie O” glasses) … an evening outfit according to the nights theme (from a onesie and high heels to a fish and pirate theme)… there might even be a birthday cake in the mix, that needs to travel in a cooler box and STAY UPRIGHT !!!!!
7. and finally WHAT GOES ON TOUR STAYS ON TOUR (if it has too only on your what’s up group..)….

Dedicated to all my trippin’ friends ….